Phoenix

August 17 2005-December 29, 2019
Phoenix,
It’s the day your journey as a dog ended and your next chapter began. Grief isn’t airtight. Nor should it be. Nor, do I want it to be.
The ER Veterinarian suggested “Hemangiosarcoma” (HSA) which is an aggressive, malignant cancer of the blood vessels” After series of testing, the veterinarian walked in with a syringe full of blood that came from her abdomen. I knew at that very second that there was no decision that had to be made. Her time has come. So I said one final good night to my sweet girl .
I hope you know you were not alone. We were there like I promised. We were there until your very last breath. I pulled your blanket over you. I told you I loved you. Over and over again. It’s really a silly notion of humans to think we always have more time. I have been working on this.
Thank you Phoenix for choosing to find me. It’s where you belonged. Because, of course, you did.
Phoenix, my heart squeezes when I think of you. But to trade the tears for never having experienced these things at all? Not a chance. We had some good adventures, didn’t we? I love you beyond words.. In the meantime, my girl – we’re turning the page on a new year. I wish you were here. And yet, I know that you are. You’re in every sunbeam and every breath and beat. With every superior feeling I have ever experienced.
Thank you universe for blessing us with this remarkable dog. I love her, I love her.